A Love Spell in London

The following is a story both frightening and gory.
It has too many flat-lines to be good for bedtimes.
So reach for your tissues if upset by such issues…

When the growth in my gut
Turned to thought in my head
I had to spend a while in bed.
Then I found me a bit of rough
It’s funny – being in love.

The ringing in my ears
Was it a wedding bell
Or a tolling funeral knell?
Hey! I’m still up for a few beers,
Still crazy after all these years.

My new love’s an enchanter with his leg of frog
And skin of a buck rabbit and his big black dog.
Oh and I thank heaven above;
it’s funny – being in love.

When the growth in my gut
Turned to a monkey on my back
The DSS cut me some slack.
Up ‘til now my life’s been tough,
It’s funny – being in love.

Snake’s scale, dog’s tail and a fingernail
Removed with a blade of the Schutzstaffel
Mixed with rat droppings and unopened mail
(He’s no need of letters just to cast his spell)
And I thank heaven above;
it’s funny – being in love.

Oh I loved being a mom
But lately it’s not been fun.
I’m made to feel like a pariah.
I had a dream of mount Moriah
Where I offered up to Him my one begotten son.

When the growth in my gut
Turned to a thought in my head
I had to spend a while in bed.
Then I found me a bit of rough
It’s funny – being in love.

Greenteeth

Did you see Arbor Low, did you see Doll Tor?
Did you visit the Nine Ladies of Stanton Moor?
At the end of the day did you let the brothers play
by the River Wye's green banks? Well I give you my thanks.

I stretch out a full reach & I pick me a flower,
I drag it kicking & bubbling to my drowning bower.

'You know, one these days the boys will dive like whales!'
You boasted at the pool during their first armbanded flails.
Yes he was taught how to swim as soon as he could begin,
& then, length after length, you amazed at his strength.

Now its no use to struggle, its no use to tussle,
this undertow is stronger still, this current has muscle.

Did you make him a throne of the tall Andle Stone?
At Arbor Low did cold winds blow & chill him to the bone marrow?
Did you see him pelt a pebble at a Merlin in the sky?
Did you see him holding to his breast a crawling butterfly?

Was he loved by his mother? Did he quarrel with his brother?
These ties that bind are torn asunder as I drag him under.

Andle Stone
Arbor Low
Doll Tor
The Nine Ladies of Stanton Moor

The Rawhead

Old Aunt Agnes sits and knits,
says: "Stay away from old marl pits.
In old marl pits the Rawhead sits,
he'll pull the arms from your armpits,
pop your eyes and eat your bits,
oh, heed my advice you little nitwits!"

Philly Joe was a brave young cove
and Little Ninny, oh so skinny.
Angelo who was want to rove
with Tricky Vicky - this is sticky.

Old Aunt Agnes sits and knits,
says: "stay away from old marl pits.
In old marl pits the Rawhead sits
and he'll grind your bones to make his grits,
snack your skull, swallow and spit,
oh, heed my advice you little shits!"

But they're out the door and climb the streets
and up the wolds and through the heath.
They'll not stay away from old marl pits,
they'll brave the lair where Rawhead sits.

But when they get there it's a scene of dread,
human bones and giblets, hanging from gibbets,
they'd underestimated old Rawhead,
he's a famishing Ogre - no fey Flibbertigibbet!

Philly Joe thinks of having a go,
but Rawhead's roaring frightens him, so
he runs and hides behind Angelo,
pulls Tricky Vicky to and fro.

He says to Rawhead "Don't eat me,
I've a medical complaint and I taste sickly,
eat Angelo and Tricky Vicky
and Little Ninny - hid within the spinney.
She may be lean but she's fit for the Queen.
She may be lean but she tastes supreme!"

Old Aunt Agnes sits and knits,
says: "Stay away from old marl pits."
And Philly Joe heeds her advice,
he went there once and won't go twice,
he'll stay away from old marl pits,
his lesson's learned and he's better for it.